Elliot Page is revealing even more about his old dating life.
In his new memoir, Pageboy, the Canadian actor opens up about a secret relationship he had in his 20s with closeted co-star referred to as “Ryan”.
Page explains, according to Page Six, that he and Ryan met while working a movie together at 26, before Page had come out publicly, and fell “desperately in love” with each other.
“My partner was more closeted than me for a change,” the actor recalls, adding that even close friends were not aware of the relationship.
“She was radiant – her dress, her smile, how she pushed her hair from her face … We discussed books, activism, our collective consciousness, and the deep intelligence of nature,” Page writes.
The couple kept their relationship a secret, with only a handful of friends knowing about it.
“Her parents did not know,” Page says. “I was the friend that came for Christmas … We never touched outside, we barely went to dinner. She was in my phone under the name ‘Ryan.’”
Recalling good times in their relationship, Page says they had “a lot of fun” and also had “discreet but adventurous sex. On rocks, just below the Pacific Coast Highway, hidden in boulders in Joshua Tree National Park, on an airplane.”
During one trip together, while waiting for a flight in an Air Canada lounge, Ryan took a book Page was reading out of his hands and “began to write in the back sleeve, an outpouring of love, one of the most beautiful letters I have ever received.”
Despite all that, Page now admits, “it was not a sustainable relationship … the lying, the anxiety, the disgust.”
Explaining that Ryan wasn’t able to “handle the shame” of people knowing she was “queer,” leading her to break up with Page, who says his heart was “shattered.”
Some time after the split, they saw each other at a party where Ryan had come with a dale date, which caused Page to pretend he had food poisoning in order to leave the room.
Ryan’s partner brought him over some coconut water, Page recalls.
“He had no idea about our history of course,” the actor writes. “It was a kind gesture, but I wanted to take that coconut water and throw it.”
Page says he eventually left the party, because seeing his ex being comfortable around her partner “in the way she never could with me … it unreservedly gutted me.”
In his book, Page has also been open about a number of other past relationships, including revealing that he had relationships with actors Olivia Thirlby and Kata Mara at different points in time.