Are you a lifelong KISS fan? Do you want to show your loyalty to the KISS Army even after you're dead and buried? Well, we have some fantastic (and ridiculous) consumer news for you! If you're willing to pony up $4,000, you can be buried in the KISS Kasket. Yes, the KISS Kasket is a real product. Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell was actually laid to rest in a custom coffin donated by the band. Is cremation more your style? You can always spring for the KISS urn. For the right price, you could probably get the "Shout It Out" rockers to also conduct the eulogy and put you into the ground. By the way, Gene Simmons has suggested that fans can use the coffin as a cooler if they're interested in buying the KISS Kasket for a non-funeral occasion.
KISS spun off their reputation as, um, "noted adult bedroom activity enthusiasts" into a condom merchandising deal. (Note: The sensual appeal of looking at a box with a 64-year-old man's painted face on it may vary person-to-person.) The *shudder* "tongue lubricated" condoms featured boxes with different KISS members on the packaging. Consumers had the opportunity to buy varieties like "Studded Paul" and "Love Gun Protection" as part of their safe sex regimen.
Scratch & Win Lottery Tickets
Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons have never been shy about their enthusiasm for making some serious scratch and now fans can win some dough courtesy of KISS-themed scratch lottery tickets. The band's likeness has been emblazoned on a series of scratch & win tickets that have appeared across North America, including a 2012 deal where they were sold in British Columbia. It's not the only time that KISS has dipped their enormous boots into the world of gambling-related endorsement deals. KISS slot machines have been a regular sight in casinos over the past few years.
The Demon (Pro Wrestler)
KISS and pro wrestling? What could go wrong? Well, everything really. The classic rock combo teamed with World Championship Wrestling to create a KISS-themed character (The Demon) that would engage in pro-graps while dolled up like a Gene Simmons clone. The Demon's hyped debut was part of a WCW Monday Nitro segment where KISS introduced the character with a live performance. The tie-in was a disaster, with the KISS segment ranking as one of the lowest-rated segments in the show's history. It should be noted that Insane Clown Posse and No Limit Records had much more fruitful (but still relatively underwhelming) forays into the world of WCW.
L.A. KISS (Arena Football League Team)
KISS aren't the first rockers to venture into the world of arena football (howdy, Jon Bon Jovi!), but they're definitely the undisputed champs of banking on their brand. The football club (co-owned by Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons and their manager Doc McGhee) is sold as an extension of KISS, with the band's logo doubling as the team's logo. In one of many rock-themed tie-ins connected to the club, the L.A. KISS kicked off their inaugural AFL campaign with Motorhead hero Lemmy Kilmister performing the official coin toss.
KISS Him & Her (Beauty Products)
Who doesn't want to smell like a sweaty blood-soaked and make-up-caked rocker when they step out of the shower? KISS launched a line of beauty products in 2006 for both men and women. The "KISS Him" and "KISS Her" beauty lines offer up band-branded items like shampoo, perfume and shaving cream. "When you smell the cologne from the bottle, it smells terrible," reads an Amazon user review of the KISS cologne. "But when you spray it on your skin and let it sit for a minute, it smells very rugged and alluring. It's an overall very manly scent. I would recommend this to anyone who wants to smell like a man." Okay, then.
Archie Meets KISS
KISS have popped up in their fair share of comic books (including an infamous run of comics in the '70s that featured blood drawn from members of the band,) but it's their unique Riverdale crossover that snagged our attention. In 2011, KISS paired up with Archie and his wholesome pals for a four-part series that featured all sorts of goofy monster-catching shenanigans. It's probably the weirdest KISS comic interaction out there, although it's not the nuttiest Archie comic drop-in by a long shot. That honour belongs to the delightfully bonkers Archie meets The Punisher.
Why let being a teetotaler hamstring your ability to get into the booze biz? Gene Simmons doesn't drink, but he has no problem selling products to people who do. You can serve KISS wine at your next formal dinner and ask the guests if they would like something from the Psycho Circus collection. (If they decline, you can pour them some Zin Fire.) Beer drinkers can also get in on the KISS-themed drink action thanks to a Swedish-brewed offering by the name of KISS Destroyer.
KISS Fleece Cozy Snuggie
Let's be honest, it's exhausting to rock and roll all night and party everyday. IF ONLY THERE WAS A KISS-RELATED THING TO DO DURING THE DOWN TIME! Enter the KISS Fleece Cozy Snuggie. The popular blanket contraption comes in a version that features the band's familar faces on the design. It's not quite as snazzy as the Weezer version, but it certainly is a lot busier and it does a fantastic job of ticking the "does this have KISS on it?" box.
Finally! A coffee shop where you can drink java and trade bootleg VHS copies of KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park! Located in Myrtle Beach, the KISS Coffeehouse served as a place where fans could grab a drink, buy some KISS merch and gawk at all the memorabilia on display. Sadly, the KISS Coffeehouse is no more. The South Carolina mega-cafe announced in 2013 that they would be closing their doors for good.