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1- Elderly Foster Child
"#fbf to @juddapatow’s level of excitement when I floated the idea of he and @lesliemann adopting me and my moving into their house as an elderly foster child."
Pretty sure anyone would be willing to adopt Kate.
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2- A Real Woman Has Chest Hair
"@michaelturchinart and I like to show our chest hair . @lancebass not so much."
Of course, they all wax.
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3- Act Natural
"It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas . If Christmas involves lying on quite cold tiles in a swimming costume and a coat."
If that is what Christmas involves, we want in!
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4- Say Aah
"On any important date,mitzvah or jaunt, try to pick a venue where your tongue matches or at least complements the curtains for a feeling of quiet confidence."
So that is what we have been doing wrong on all our dates!
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5- Large Mustard Phallus
"My boyfriend almost never dances with me unless we are within a few feet of a large mustard coloured phallus. What does it mean."
If you don't know, either do we.
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6- Perineum
"So apparently there are two meanings of the word “perineum”, one being the area of the body between the genitals and anus,and the other,the period of time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I thought I had been clear we were celebrating the second but Michael turned up in an impenetrable onesie just in case he was ambushed by an excitable relative."
Educational and funny.
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7- Work Out Treat
"If I’ve been especially well behaved sometimes,as a treat, @gunnarfitness lets me help with the @lakers manual toilet flushing system."
Even she needs an incentive for working out!
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8- Multi-Functional
"Thank you @wmag for lovely pre golden globes party last night . And thank you @alexperryofficial for amazing dress which kept me calm when two drinks got spilled on me and someone got very aggressive squeezing a lime in my direction #wetwipe"
We STAN an actress who wears a multi-use dress.
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9-Something In The Air
"@francoisberthier the “can you smell a smell?”series"
Who knew a sense could be so sexy?
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10-Give The Woman Her Credit
"I don’t get nearly enough credit for getting in and out of cars with one four foot leg and the other leg basically a small ottoman"
In reality, all woman should get way more credit for getting in and out of cars without tripping on their gowns. Don't believe us, you try it!
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11- Tube Socks
*Yes, this is #11 but we couldn't narrow it down to 10.
"Everyone was pretty tense for the game but apparently I’m just here for the fashion and was enchanted by some particularly fire tube socks #lakers"
Fashion aside, it was the reply to a comment on the picture with her assistant that made her win even more. When a user asked if that was her son.
Kate replied, “He is my son yes. I kept him in the cellar for 29 years but now I feel I should take him out on jaunts.”
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