Donny Osmond - Soldier of Love
Quick! What do you think of when you think "Michael Bay?" Your brain's probably overstuffed with flashes of garish explosions, supermodels and supremely goofy bits of dialogue, right? So who would have thought this guy's first music video would be so... restrained? Bay made his promo-helming debut with this incredibly straightforward video for Donny Osmond's comeback single "Soldier of Love". In the clip, Donny sings the George Michael-meets-New Kids on The Block-sounding tune with the occasional shot of dancing models and band members lumped in for good measure. The most action-packed scene features the Mormon entertainer doing a bit of over-the-head clapping in a leather jacket. Boom.
Richard Marx - Angelia
It's important to point out off the bat that Richard Marx's hair in this video was not the product of any sort of special effects wizardry. That was actually his real mane. In the video for "Angelia", Marx and his big hair pine for the title character. We get loads of shots of Angelia (her interests include photography, umbrella twirling and walking through fields) while Marx occasionally looks sad in a chair. Things take a startling turn halfway through (oh no!) when we're taken to the scene of a horrific car accident that produces a lot of dramatic face acting. Sadly, no amount of denim jacket-wearing can bring back poor Angelia. All Richard Marx has to remember her by is a busted-up automobile and a variety of fashion shoot-styled memories.
Gregg Allman - I'll Be Holding On
The late 1980s were a fascinating time to be alive. It was an era where Gregg Allman could be tapped to do a ridiculously over-the-top Hans Zimmer co-crafted ballad written for a Ridley Scott flick. The Michael Bay-directed video for Allman's "I'll Be Holding On" features a combo of swooping shots of Cher's ex-husband at the piano mixed in with a variety of clips from Black Rain. Allman doesn't leap up from his piano at any point to fight Yakuza tough guys, which probably explains why this video barely exists online beyond a few less-than-sleek looking uploads.
Vanilla Ice - I Love You
Yes, this video is every bit as ridiculous as you imagine it is. Michael Bay's directing videography includes this FASCINATING promo for Vanilla Ice's soggy hip-hop ballad "I Love You." In the video, Vanilla Ice professes his feelings of love ("Just knowin' that you want me by your side/Mellows my mind and enhances my pride") while occasionally spin-dancing in a patriotic red, white and blue outfit. At certain points in the video, these romantic spins occur in front of a background made up of a blue sky and puffy white clouds. If that's not enough to convince you that Vanilla Ice is ready for love, there's also sexy models, sax-soundtracked dance bits and the rapper harassing some poor lady in a phone booth.
Divinyls - I Touch Myself
Who do you ring up when you need some art that deals with the field of self-gratification? Michael Bay, of course. This colossal hit from Divinyls came equipped with a Bay-directed music video and a saucy one at that. "I Touch Myself" showcases frontwoman Chrissy Amphlett getting awfully coquettish with the camera and even engages in some sexy ironing. A gaggle of models also features prominently in the video because... well, it's a Michael Bay video, isn't it? The clip went on to earn three MTV Video Music Awards nominations, including a slot in the Video of the Year category.
Tina Turner - Love Thing
Tina Turner is (natch) a total badass in the Michael Bay-directed promo for "Love Thing". The Queen of Rock 'n' Roll has a tank-topped photographer falling at her feet ("Take a ride in my love machine," sings Tina) and later rides off with the guy into the sunset. Tina also shares her photo session with (surprise!) models and absolutely kills her runway walk in front of a rather unsavoury-looking flock of weird dudes in suits.
Lionel Richie - Do It To Me
Model-writhing, ahoy! Lionel Richie and Michael Bay teamed up in 1992 to create a sensually-minded promo for the single "Do It To Me". There's loads of stock sexy model moves in this video. Underwear-clad bed frolics? This video's got 'em! Back-arching on fancy furniture? This clip's got that, too. Negligee-focused strutting sequences? YOU BET YOUR BOOTS IT'S IN THIS PROMO! Lionel stays fully clothed in "Do It To Me", though. Not that he doesn't have things to do. The former Commodore sings passionately while two models attempt to make love in front of a wind machine. ART!
Wilson Phillips - You Won't See Me Cry
Glen Ballard had a hand in crafting this cut from the 1992 Wilson Phillips album 'Shadows and Light'. This arena-sized pop ballad was paired up with a Michael Bay video that features a lot of sweeping shots of the group looking both forlorn and (occasionally) vaguely aroused. Things shift between black and white to images of colour with a saxophone dude sometimes in the mix. (For some reason, Bay did a lot of videos for songs with showy saxophone bits.) Rain and lingerie also factor into the proceedings. In a 2012 interview, Carnie Wilson said she wasn't particularly enamoured with the wardrobe she was given for the video. "The only thing I didn't like was when I was in that lingerie for that 'You Won't See Me Cry' video," remarked Carnie. "That didn't seem natural to me. I wasn't comfortable with any of us or the way we were dressed for that."
Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)/Rock And Roll Dreams Come Through/Objects in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer than They Are
A blockbuster album sometimes needs blockbuster music videos to go alongside it. The unapologetically bombastic 'Bat Out Of Hell II' found a kindred spirit in the form of Michael Bay. Three tracks from the mega-selling Meat Loaf full-length received the Bay treatment with every theatrical impulse given free reign to operate. The video for "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" has a bit where Meat Loaf RIDES A GODDAMN MOTORCYCLE THROUGH A PALACE WALL AND IT IS THE COOLEST THING EVER! Oh, also Angelina Jolie co-stars in the promo for "Rock and Roll Dreams Comes Through."
Aerosmith - Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)
Before Aerosmith tackled the enormo-ballad "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" for Michael Bay's Armageddon, the two parties worked together for the promo for "Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)." According to Bay, the clip was partially intended to be a goof on the seriousness of grunge-era videos. Serious, this video ain't. Steven Tyler gets plunked into a mental asylum, while regular schmoes deal with a variety of romantic and sexual entanglements that require nurses, dominatrixes and the occasional cupid armed with a bow and arrow.